Crazy Mindset..
I'm feeling very solemn today because I'm starting to become my old self once again. The one that doesn't talk a lot. The one that doesn't like to socialise. The one that doesn't trust anyone. That one that depend on himself. I don't know why but I am starting to be like that again. I'm actually feeling ver weird to be back to myself. I'm tired of pretending to be lunatic in front of my friends. I will be back to who I am. I'm actually starting to distrust my friends because I know someday somehow someone that you trust dearly will betray you. I really hate this kind of feeling. I never like any hypocrites before. They make friends with me because of one simple reason and I guess I don't have to mention it. I don't feel good at all helping this kind of "friend". It makes me piss too.
I don't know why I am that dead tired. Is it because of the medicine that I take everyday or is it that I am sick and tired of this kind of life. I actually have thought of transferring school, changing of a new environment where no one really knows about me. I will be willing to adapt to a new environment. I will be more than willing to accept it even if I don't have a single friend there. But I cannot transfer because of the PW. So I'm stuck at this miserable place for 2 years. I have to face those faces for two years. I cannot take it anymore. I'm tired, beat tired. I really need a long rest where I can be released from the stress of life. When will I ever get to see the true self? When will I ever get to know myself well enough?When will I be freed? When will I die?Will someone cry for me if I die??Only GOD knows..
I don't know why I am that dead tired. Is it because of the medicine that I take everyday or is it that I am sick and tired of this kind of life. I actually have thought of transferring school, changing of a new environment where no one really knows about me. I will be willing to adapt to a new environment. I will be more than willing to accept it even if I don't have a single friend there. But I cannot transfer because of the PW. So I'm stuck at this miserable place for 2 years. I have to face those faces for two years. I cannot take it anymore. I'm tired, beat tired. I really need a long rest where I can be released from the stress of life. When will I ever get to see the true self? When will I ever get to know myself well enough?When will I be freed? When will I die?Will someone cry for me if I die??Only GOD knows..