eMotIoN sUcKs..
There is something I really don't understand. I just can't make the best decision for myself. I just need a lot more time than others to decide. I have to take into account of all those people that I will hurt if I make a decision. This pressurizes me a lot. I need to do something whereby no one is affected by it.
Probably because I'm a very emotional person. Sometimes it is not good to tell everyone what you know. It's useless. It's no point knowing more than what you should know. So what if I tell you?Can you do anything?If you are going to say that it will reduce the burden, it's not the case. I have to worry whether you all will do anything foolish.
Some people ask me not to think so much but the problem is I can't zhou yi bu kan yi bu. I have to think of long term stuff. I'm not like you guys. You all have all the time in the world to think but I seriously don't have. I'm running out of time. I may just be gone out of a sudden..
I know sometimes I'm very strong-headed about certain things but that's my belief because I don't want anyone to be hurt. I don't want anyone to feel pain. If possible,I just want to feel the pain myself. Probably I'm just numb to it. I just don't want to do anymore harm. Perhaps coming to this world is just a mistake. Coming to a JC is just meaningless for me.
I'm influenced by friends. I'm not myself. I just can't be myself. Worst thing is that I lost my real self. I'm just a walking zombie. I'm just a stupid guy. Why some people just make me feel that they care for me as a friend and sometimes make me feel that I'm stupid to think that they are my friends!? I just don't know what to say. I'm perhaps too sensitive to things but I can't stop myself from doing it.
I drank a bit of wine and now I'm feeling a bit tipsy,going to collapse any moment.Besides, I haven't done my I&R which is due tomorrow. But I just hope that I can have a peaceful night where I can forget all my problems for that few hours.
I just hope that I can be left alone. Just leave me to rot..
Probably because I'm a very emotional person. Sometimes it is not good to tell everyone what you know. It's useless. It's no point knowing more than what you should know. So what if I tell you?Can you do anything?If you are going to say that it will reduce the burden, it's not the case. I have to worry whether you all will do anything foolish.
Some people ask me not to think so much but the problem is I can't zhou yi bu kan yi bu. I have to think of long term stuff. I'm not like you guys. You all have all the time in the world to think but I seriously don't have. I'm running out of time. I may just be gone out of a sudden..
I know sometimes I'm very strong-headed about certain things but that's my belief because I don't want anyone to be hurt. I don't want anyone to feel pain. If possible,I just want to feel the pain myself. Probably I'm just numb to it. I just don't want to do anymore harm. Perhaps coming to this world is just a mistake. Coming to a JC is just meaningless for me.
I'm influenced by friends. I'm not myself. I just can't be myself. Worst thing is that I lost my real self. I'm just a walking zombie. I'm just a stupid guy. Why some people just make me feel that they care for me as a friend and sometimes make me feel that I'm stupid to think that they are my friends!? I just don't know what to say. I'm perhaps too sensitive to things but I can't stop myself from doing it.
I drank a bit of wine and now I'm feeling a bit tipsy,going to collapse any moment.Besides, I haven't done my I&R which is due tomorrow. But I just hope that I can have a peaceful night where I can forget all my problems for that few hours.
I just hope that I can be left alone. Just leave me to rot..