MiSeRy
Back from the stressful PW lessons or should I say that I played more than I did. I admitted that I had been slacking after Promos and our PW meetings were not going as smooth as expected. Sianz.. I think a lot are because of my fault. Now as the deadline draws near, I start to feel a bit unsecure because Miss Kong added quite a bit of comments about our WR. I was like -_-" because we need to change everything within this few days. We had a meeting yesterday and had our dinner at the pots and pans fish and chips store. It was good but it was a pity that I couldn't cut the food nicely and Alex and Rachel who were sitting beside me were showing off their cutting skills to me. Well, at least I finished my food first even though when I couldn't slice the food into small pieces and had to put the big pieces of fish in my mouth.
Well, now I still feel a bit moody nowadays. Even though I get some of the grades that I wanted, I wasn't happy,not at all. I know that some people want me to face my past and accept who I am, who are my friends. But it is very tough for me. I grow up in an environment where I can't trust anymore. I fight to survive. I can't trust anyone, every single one. In the past,if I failed to protect myself, I will be killed. Now you know how serious my past is?You think that I dare to face it again? Can you imagine that you are living in fear every single moment when you are out of your house!? That's how I was feeling in the past. Now I'm trying to trust people and yet some idiotic people betray me and once again destroy the confidence that I have placed in people. Now I'm confused,super confused..
Ok KH, this is to u. If u think that I am adapting well now, I don't think so. I think I'm suffering more than anyone of u out there. It's just that I never show it to anyone yet. It is not as imagine as you understand it is. I'm having more stress,more relationship problem. I never want to tell anyone because friends can help to reduce or increase burden so I don't want to be someone who cause people to be burden. Regarding that guy, I have no intentions of getting myself to trust him again once more. Once this trust is gone, it's gone forever..
Just like any species in the world, when they die, they are gone forever..
Well, now I still feel a bit moody nowadays. Even though I get some of the grades that I wanted, I wasn't happy,not at all. I know that some people want me to face my past and accept who I am, who are my friends. But it is very tough for me. I grow up in an environment where I can't trust anymore. I fight to survive. I can't trust anyone, every single one. In the past,if I failed to protect myself, I will be killed. Now you know how serious my past is?You think that I dare to face it again? Can you imagine that you are living in fear every single moment when you are out of your house!? That's how I was feeling in the past. Now I'm trying to trust people and yet some idiotic people betray me and once again destroy the confidence that I have placed in people. Now I'm confused,super confused..
Ok KH, this is to u. If u think that I am adapting well now, I don't think so. I think I'm suffering more than anyone of u out there. It's just that I never show it to anyone yet. It is not as imagine as you understand it is. I'm having more stress,more relationship problem. I never want to tell anyone because friends can help to reduce or increase burden so I don't want to be someone who cause people to be burden. Regarding that guy, I have no intentions of getting myself to trust him again once more. Once this trust is gone, it's gone forever..
Just like any species in the world, when they die, they are gone forever..