Emotional..
Last week was quite a tired week because I had a lot of things to do which left me no time to do homework even. Luckily I did my work during the weekend so I could still alive until now!! LOL!!
Monday and tuesday were my last Chineses lessons. It was quite smsing the words. I wrote my nickname there. I also wrote myself as yue fei. Then Evan put himself as guan yu. LOL!! Some people went to put WU ZUN. LOL!! I think everyone was obessesed with that show..
Anyway on Wednesday, my crossword puzzle killed the two groups. LOL!! I guessed I used too many short forms until they couldn't comprehend. Sorry!! I think I wanted the Ang Bao from the teacher badly!! Haha..
Harmo practice was until so late. I met the ex-president last Friday. He told me that teacher said that our standard couldn't reach silver.Anyway, some people told me that we kept practising and we didn't seem to improve. It seemed that we were stuck at a certain level. Well, I guessed that person who said it was right. I felt the same way. Still, I don't feel a sense of belonging to harmo. There was another person who commented that the people in section 3 are very quiet and unfriendly.(This was quoted from someone,not by me.) Well, I guessed for my case, it is true because when I came to AJC, I didn't want to make any friends or maybe just some to get me through these 2 years and that's all. Some people that I talked to always feel the same way as me. I don't know why I keep having this feeling towards my CCA. I have tried to like it but it seemed to fail everytime. I know that people are putting in efforts to come up with a camp to bond people together but I seriously got this feeling that I'm not looking forward to it and maybe I'm just scared of it. I really don't know why I don't like it. Maybe the ratio of guys to girls is quite big and I don't really feel that comfortable in that way. Maybe I miss my CO too much but I really don't want things to turn out this way..
On Friday, I had the two common tests, Physics and Chemistry. I did struggle through the paper because I simply didn't have the correct concept and I was still not used to using G.C. It was weird throughout the test. I was pressing calculator and each time I pressed, different answer would appear. So in the end, I borrowed the normal calculator from Xuelin. I think this year, I'm not going to make it for my A level because I'm simply under too much stress and work. I think I can't handle them. Someday, I would just break down. I wanted to find someone to talk to but I just realised I didn't have one to do so. So I only have this blog to talk to. Maybe it would give me some sense of encouragement.
I was there at the hall, looking at the students who stood up because they got good grades for their A level results. I felt a sense of fear. Memories of me getting O level results flashed back to my mind. I still remembered what my form teacher told me. I feared that the same thing happened again next year. I feared it. I had let so many people down because I'm just stupid and I can't meet their expectations and this time I think I'm not going to make it again.
We received our A level Chinese results. Even though I got A for it which I didn't expect, I wasn't happy. There were friends beside me who cried. Some unexpectedly got some grades that were not the usual ones that they got. Some cried. All I can do was just to sit there to see them cry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to open my mouth because I feared that I would say the wrong word. It was a sad day..
My H3 lessons were cancelled so I went for harmo until 7plus. It was as usual. After that, evadne and I chatted for a while to wait for yuhan to finish CCA. We went to AMK central S11 there to eat. KwokHoe came along too. I ordered my favourite RAMEN!! LOL!! It was so NICE!! I also ordered StingRay.. Actually evadne and I were there to accompany yuhan and kwokhoe. Hope they feel better!!
There were some awkward moments these few weeks because of some people. Anyway, I have to learn how to prevent my face from getting red easily..TOUGH!!